Saturday, May 5, 2012

I'm Ready

     Just a little recap for those of you who may not know, but I'm expecting a baby!  You can read about it here.  This will be our fourth!  That's right, I said fourth!  Apparently, Ryan and I weren't crazy enough, so we decided to add a little more chaos into our lives.  No seriously, we're ecstatic.  My body may be thinking something different, but my heart is already in love.

     This pregnancy is definitely different from the other three.  I'm older and waaaay out of shape this time around.  But I'm hoping with the older part, it means that I'm better. (maybe wishful thinking, we'll see)  I had Andrew when I was just shy of 24.  I had Chloe just after turning 26.  I had Lily after I turned 33.  This little one will be a little after turning 36.  See what I mean about being older? 

     I always wanted a large family because I grew up with three younger sisters and about a million cousins!  Several of my cousins are also my BEST friends.  A very tight family.  So, it was always in my cards to have a bunch of kids.  Ryan, grew up differently than I did.  He had one younger sister, a few close cousins, and the rest they only saw a couple times a year.  After having Chloe, Ryan and I made the decision (together) that our family was complete.  My heart had a really hard time making that decision, but it made sense.  We eventually wanted to buy a house and we needed two incomes to make that dream happen.
October 2011- Just before finding out we were expecting another baby!

     So, we bought a house, I went back to teaching and then.....our lives were forever changed.  Definitely in the good way though.  We found out we were expecting our third!  Lily has been a blessing in so many ways.  She extended our family.  She made us better.  Even though she has PKU, it has actually made us a closer family.  We look out for each other.  We eat better!  We've all become more understanding and compassionate for people who are different.  And we love one another whole heartily.
December 2011
     Shortly, after Lily turned 1, I approached the baby subject with Ryan.  I was definitely apprehensive.  I wondered how he felt about having another child.  After all, he wanted a small family.  But with Lily, he changed.  He became a better husband.  A better father.  He once again became the love of my life.  Ryan thoroughly surprised me.  He wanted to have another baby!  I think I about fell over.  Of course we talked about the possibility of this baby having PKU, but we knew we could handle anything that God gave us.  Or at least try to handle!  (some days these kids are a real challenge)
January 2012
     So, after Lily's 2nd birthday, we discovered we were expecting baby number four!  It took a little longer to conceive this time.  I was actually worried, that maybe I had already been blessed enough.  That maybe my body just couldn't do it.  However, again I was surprised! 

February 2012
     As I'm nearing the finish line (8 more weeks), I'm looking back at this pregnancy and realizing that I'm ready!  With the other pregnancies, I was the perfect image of a glowing pregnant mama.  My babies were right in the middle and looked as though I had swallowed a basketball.  You couldn't tell I was pregnant, until you saw my profile.  I gained the minimal amount of weight.  I had no morning sickness or nausea.  I looked great.  My skin was perfect and my hair was thick (well a little thicker).  This time....everything is different!
March 2012
     I've already gained 20 or more pounds and still have 2 months to go.  My baby is still like a basketball but he kicks the hell out of me ALL THE TIME!  I really think that my ribs and one hip are probably bruised on the inside.  I have terrible heart burn and acid reflux.  The past 2 weeks have been filled with nausea, light headedness, and dizzy spells.  I'm constantly tired, but can't get more than a few hours of sleep, because little man kicks me in the bladder!  I'm also extremely out of breath.  Just walking up the stairs, I have to stop and catch my breath.
April 2012
     I know that this is nothing compared to what some pregnancies are.  I'm not trying to gain sympathy or share my battle stories.  I'm just surprised.  I'm totally caught off guard and not sure what to do.  I didn't expect any of this!  They always say that each pregnancy is different, but I didn't really believe it.  I mean the first three were so EASY!  So, now I realize that I'm ready.  I'm ready for July 2nd to be here.  I'm ready to welcome our little man.  I'm ready to not be a pregnant mama, but just a mama!

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