Last night was a bit rough. My 11 year old, Andrew, son plays junior tackle football for our middle school. Last night was his second game. We were hoping that it would be better than the first but alas it wasn't. Andrew played 1 minute, 30 seconds of the fourth quarter in the first game and 0 minutes, 0 seconds of the second game. To say that I was a bit pissed would be a major understatement.
I'm a former varsity volleyball and middle school volleyball coach. I know that not every team member is a stellar athlete. I know that not every team member is going to have equal play time. I know that at the high school level, especially varsity, winning is the most important part of the game (in theory). However, as a mom, there is no way a young child should work 2 hours a day to receive NO playing time.
My heart was breaking as I watched my little boy stand on the sidelines and cheer his team on. My heart fell apart as I watched my little boy as his coach when it was his turn to get in the game. My heart cried when my little boy told me that his coach said "Do me a favor, quit asking." My heart was crushed when my son began crying on the way home and said that he hated football and wanted to quit. My heart was screamed when my son told me that he was told by the coach "That if he left early for Boy Scouts, that he would receive less playing time next week."
What is a mom to do? Call up the coach and chew him out? Let her son quit even though I've taught him that once you commit to something, you finish it? I am at a loss. I am not a person that enjoys having these types of discussions. How am I to ask the coach why my son is treated poorly without breaking down? I don't know if I can.
My husband and I talked to our son and told him he will sometimes meet coaches who have "tunnel vision." They only see the win and the players who may get them the win. They don't see the players who have HEART, they don't see players who need just a little more explanation, they don't see players who have potential. My son is one of those players, just a little on the outside. He has so much heart and right now it is breaking.
There are tears in my eyes as I read this. It sounds like you had a good talk with Andrew, "tunnel vision" is the right phrase. I hope that things improve. Every team needs the "from the heart" players to keep team spirit and comradery high, if only his coach could see that. I know we are getting closer to this age with our kids and I also know I am not ready for it. Broken hearts take time to heal, but as moms and dads we suffer right along with our children. Sending hugs and warm thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteNot telling you what to do but sometimes we worry about letting our kids be 'quitters' and forget that perhaps the better lesson is teaching our kids to walk away from a negative situation that is hurting them. It's a tough call. Listen to your child and your heart. Hugs to you all.
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